Swan Dive
I'm cradling the softest, warmest part of you in my hands
Feels like a little baby bird
Fallen from the nest
I think that your body
is something I understand
I think that I'm happy
I think that I'm blessed
But I've had a lack of inhibition
I've had a loss of perspective
I've had a little bit to drink
And it's making me think
That I can jump ship and swim
That the ocean will hold me
That there's got to be more
Than this boat I'm in
And they can call me crazy if I fail
All the chance that I need is one-in-a-million,
And they can call me brilliant if I succeed
Gravity is nothing to me
I'm moving at the speed of sound
I'm just gonna get my feet wet until I drown
I teeter between tired
And really, really tired
I'm wiped and I'm wired
But I guess that's just as well
Cuz I've built my own empire
Out of car tires and chicken wire
And now I'm queen of my own compost heap
And I'm getting used to the smell
I've had a lack of information
I've had a little revelation
I'm climbing up on the railing
Trying not to look down
I'm going to do my best swan dive
In the shark-infested waters
I'm gonna pull out my tampon
And just start splashing around
Cuz I don't care if they eat me alive
I've got better things to do than survive
I've got the memory of your warm skin in my hands
And I've got a vision of blue sky and dry land
I'm cradling the hardest, heaviest part of me in my hands
The ship is pitching and heaving
Our limbs are bobbing and weaving
I think this is something I understand
I just need a couple vaccinations
For my far-away vacation
I'm going to go ahead and go boldly
Cuz a little bird told me
That jumping is easy
That falling is fun
Right up until you hit the sidewalk
Shivering stunned
And they can call me crazy if I fail
All the chance that I need is one-in-a-million
And they can call me brilliant if I succeed
Gravity is nothing to me
I'm moving at the speed of sound
I'm just gonna get my feet wet untill I drown
I don't know if you have ever heard this song before, and I'm pretty certain that most of you haven't, but this is a song from the extremely talented folk singer Ani DiFraco and it's off her 1998 album Little Plastic Castles [[a great album, as is most of her work]].
DiFranco was born in Buffalo, New York sometime in the 70s. She was really big in the early to mid 90s when alternative music was at its peak in the Tri-State/U.S. area. She plays the guitar and has massive vocals which she combines together to express her ideas, poetry, and life for the audience to hear.
This song is beautiful in its simplicity, both in music and words, but never in metaphor or symbolism. She packs so much emotion into one song gals like me cant help but tear just a little. Don't believe me? Listen to her. She's got something to say for everyone and, more importantly, to everyone.
She is an activist for the Gay/Lesbian/Bi community, she being Bi herself. She is known for her outspoken ideas and her encouragement to all women to, "stand-up." In the song "Hour Follows Hour" there is a line that explains her ideas about her involvement in life: I have something to prove, as long as I know there's something that needs improvement, and you know that every time I move, I make a woman's movement.
She is my idol. I love her. Plain and simple. She has this way with words that I am jealous of. She is 5' feet tall and she has this presence that demands proper attention. The first time I ever saw her in concert she was the size of a pea in a seedy New York club and when she moved, when she swayed, I mimicked her because her presence commanded it of me. When she spoke I listened and when she sang she brought upon me this sense of enlightenment.
I know I probably sound like an obsessed stalker, but I cant help it. Throughout my life, well since the first time I heard her anyway [[that was sometime around the 2000-01]] she was one of my main constants and she helped me through more than my fair share of problems. I remember thinking, "What would Ani do/say?" Sad, right? But honest none-the-less. I thought she had all the answers when I was a teenager and sometimes still, in the back of my mind, I think to myself, "If Ani were hear and she heard this she would say...." and the next thing I know the words I thought she would say came out of my mouth. I laugh to myself when things like that happen.
If you want to hear a woman express herself without shame, but dignity and respect, listen to Ani DiFranco. Songs like, "Pick Yer Nose", "Done Wrong", Anticipate", "Evolve", and "Blood in Boardroom" are just some of her little treasures.
Love,
Ariday
"Music was my refuge. I could crawl into the space between the notes and curl my back to loneliness." -- Maya Angelou
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